Such labels may express totally justifiable anger, even rage, about what those people have done. But they provide zero understanding of why those individuals sexually abused and harmed children in the ways they did. Also, like making excuses, demonizing others is an extreme way of responding to such experiences that — for totally normal and understandable reasons — many people get stuck in.
This usually happens before one truly acknowledges what happened and attempts to deal with its effects, or early in that process. Again, these extreme responses may be a necessary phase for many people, but they should not be confused with genuine understanding.
They have good qualities as well as bad qualities. They have positive motivations as well as negative ones. They have basic human needs for respect and love, and the need to have some control over how they seek to meet their needs.
In the case of children who sexually use other children, the confusion is usually about the impact of sexual abuse they have experienced themselves, as well as the general confusion and misunderstandings that children have about sex. Because people who use and abuse children are complex human beings, with complex lives, there is no single path that leads them to engaging in such behavior.
This is true whether they were an adult when they sexually used and harmed a child engaged, or an older or more powerful child. There are some general principles that therapists and researchers have learned, by working with and studying adults who have engaged in such behaviors, about why people sexually use or abuse children. Some who sexually use or abuse children maintain sexual relationships with age-appropriate partners, including at the same time they are using or abusing a child.
In reaction to those experiences of abuse, neglect, betrayal and powerlessness, they may have attempted to find feelings of power and control over others — including sexual power over children. Others struggle over time to contain their sexual interest in children, mostly successfully, but with periodic failures. Sometimes an unexpected opportunity to be sexual with a child suddenly presents itself and a person with the potential to engage in such behavior acts spontaneously and impulsively.
This is true for some adolescents, who are dealing with intense sexual desires that are not focused on children, but suddenly sexually misuse a younger or more vulnerable child. Finally, and this is extremely important: none of these possible reasons or any others can excuse the sexual use or abuse of a child.
Nor do they diminish the negative impacts that such an experience can have on the person who has been sexually used or abused. In fact, they may not have even allowed themselves to believe, or even think about, whether they hurt you.
Even an outright assault that was sadistic that is, involved them taking pleasure in causing another person pain had much more to do with something going on inside them than anything at all about you.
However, in some extreme cases, a person is confused enough to believe their harmful behaviors are somehow good. They may fiercely deny or blind themselves to the clear negative effects of the behavior. They may even genuinely convince themselves that their actions are loving, and welcomed by children, therefore acceptable. In some cases, people who sexually use or abuse children feel genuine positive feelings toward the child, including caring feelings.
In some cases, the person is extremely immature, terrified of emotional or sexual intimacy with adults and has no idea how to achieve either. For others, the defenses may become so hardened over time that they are unable to ever acknowledge the devastating truth. Regardless of the reasons, every adult who sexually harms a child needs to be held fully accountable for the harm they caused. A large percentage of all harmful sexual interactions with children are committed by other children or adolescents.
Most kids who sexually use or abuse other kids are — at least in part — reacting to physical, sexual or emotional abusive experiences of their own. Some are too young even to fully comprehend the difference between right and wrong.
Sexual arousal is a normal human experience, and is often a normal response to sexual contact. In some cases, if early sexual experiences involved abuse, survivors may become sexually aroused by abusive behavior. This does not mean they want or wanted to be abused, or that they genuinely enjoy abuse, and not all survivors of abuse experience this.
People who have been abused may carry a lot of anger about what happened to them and abuse can be a way to express that anger. Even if they have pushed the anger out of their conscious awareness, it can come out in subtle or not-so-subtle ways in intimate relationships or parenting style.
If abuse and hurt feels inevitable, people who have been abused may view sexual relationships as predatory and react with avoidance or hostility towards partners or suitors. When children are traumatized through sexual abuse, they may associate or confuse intensity with pleasure. They may be attracted to abusive individuals and high-risk activities in order to feel pleasure, as they need the rush of danger in order to feel aroused or to experience orgasm.
Because abuse is so painful, people who have been abused may cope by retreating into a fantasy world. This may include idealizing others to the point where abusive partners are seen as wonderful, or others are abused as a result of the overwhelming disappointment felt when they cannot live up to the fantasy.
Learn the best ways to manage stress and negativity in your life. A Review of mediators in the association between child sexual abuse and revictimization in romantic relationships. Journal of Child Sexual Abuse. Breaking the cycle of maltreatment: The role of safe, stable, and nurturing relationships.
Journal of Adolescent Health. Canning M. Sourcebooks; The influence of childhood trauma on sexual violence and sexual deviance in adulthood. Lev-Wiesel R. Childhood sexual abuse: From conceptualization to treatment. Talmon A, Ginzburg K. The differential role of Narcissism in the relations between childhood sexual abuse, dissociation, and self-harm. Journal of Interpersonal Violence.
Cossins A, Plummer M. Masculinity and sexual abuse. Men and Masculinities. Chaotic homes, adverse childhood experiences, and serious delinquency: Differential effects by race and ethnicity.
Justice Quarterly. Childhood sexual abuse and intimate partner violence in a clinical sample of men: The mediating roles of adult attachment and anger management. Avoidant and compulsive sexual behaviors in male and female survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Why do people sexually abuse? Sexual abuse is any sexual behaviour between two or more persons where: the relationship is not equal because of age, intellectual abilities, status or role the sexual behaviour is unwanted and without consent where force or pressure of some sort is used sexual abuse may include touching, sexual penetration, exposure, obscene telephone calls or computer facilitated sexual behaviour e.
This question is not easily answered. There are a number of theories that provide some insight but there is no universally accepted answer to this question.
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